How to Want What You Have

Flotilla Letter 002, March 1 2024.

New Content

I wrote up a build report on my thermal energy storage system. I figured out why I’m only seeing 170watts or so when my array is capable of 480w. Spoiler Alert: because Ohm’s Law, duh.
I made an index of all my builds.
I posted my work-in-progress permaculture plan.

Reading: Levels of Enough

I’m reading How to Want What You Have by Timothy Miller. Here’s the idea:

We humans are naturally wired to want More, no matter how much we already have.
This drive functions as a survival trait. It is not some sort of sin.
However, our acquisitive nature is a major cause of suffering in our lives: it entails constant dissatisfaction and can lead us to do remarkably dumb things in pursuit of getting More.
We can get relief from More, but we have to build consistent practices to do so. There isn’t an off switch: no amount of insight or information will cause us to ‘just stop’ wanting More.
The practices that Miller proposes focus on Compassion, Attention, and Gratitude. One or two out of three will likely result in dysfunction - you need practices around all three to maintain a healthy balance.

It’s not difficult to connect this little More drive with, well, everything. The whole Predicament. Take one little human feature like More-wanting, strap a turbocharger like modern advertising to it, fuel it with insane amounts of fossil energy, and you get what we’ve now got. A climate racing towards catastrophic tipping points, bonkers level inequality, disgusting levels of material affluence coupled with crushing mental health issues, resource wars, et cetera.

Wanting what you have is the core concept behind voluntary simplicity, which also goes by sufficiency and enoughism. If we don’t intentionally ask ourselves the question “how much is enough?” our default answer will always be “just a little more.”

Subtle Traps

I think there are layers to this journey, though. It’s pretty obvious that our culture trains us to want more money, more car, more house, more clothes, more exotic vacations, more status, more promotions. So a clear first step for the apprentice Enoughist is to shun the pursuit of these things.

I’ve been doing this. I’ve been learning how I don’t need a dope truck to be happy. I don’t need a $100k salary to be happy. I don’t need to go on climbing trips on exotic islands on the far side of the planet to be happy.

But have I stopped striving? Or have I merely displaced what I’m striving for?

Instead of striving for more income, I’ve been striving for a lower burn rate. “I’ll be calm and content once I hit TTM$5k.”
Instead of striving for a promotion or status in a corporation, I’ve been striving for postconsumer status. “It will feel really nice once I’ve sent Skillathon and become a real polymath.”
Instead of wanting a bigger house, I’ve been striving for a permaculture garden. “I’ll be happy and feel secure once I live in a well designed permaculture oasis.”

I appear to be trying to win voluntary simplicity.

I think this is a phase, the displacement phase. It’s when you think you understand the More drive but instead of actually addressing the actual drive for More you just displace what you’re striving for. You swap out consumerist fixations with postconsumerist fixations.

In a sense, I’ve been using the philosophy of voluntary simplicity as a utilitarian means to an end: freedom, reducing my footprint, access to interesting experiences, etc. I haven’t actually done work on decreasing my drive for More.

I think this is a necessary phase. I had to do it to understand the difference between symptoms of the More drive and the More drive itself.

The next phase is where I actually learn and integrate practices that address the More-striving nature itself.

Skillathon Report

The big news here is that I’ve ramped up a side hustle to the the point where there’s nothing ‘side’ about it. I’ll explain more later, but a) I’m having an enormous amount of fun with it and b) it fits in with long term strategic initiatives.

A consequence is that I don’t have space to run Skillathon at the level of ambition I started it with. I’m dialing it back.

I’m dropping my (possibly terrible) idea of documenting it on video every month.
I’m rearranging and substituting topics to complement and support my life around running this side/main hustle. Less tearing my motorcycle apart in my studio and more yoga and drawing.
Instead of spending 4-6hrs/day on my Skillathon topics I’ll spend 1-2hrs.

My plans always change. This is a feature, not a bug. I deliberately structured my life in such a way that I can easily change my plans with a minimum of friction.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's all right to change my plans and that there is nothing locking me in to a set course other than the memory of the vision of a previous version of myself. And whose the boss here anyway, me or that jerk? He doesn't KNOW me, y'know? I don’t let my past self tyrannize present me.

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