I arrived home on September 2nd and have been settling in to my new life here in the desert.
Technical
I'm designing and installing a photovoltaic system for the water well here, which has run on a gas generator for over twenty years. I'll do a separate post on that at some point.
I'm also helping a neighbor retrofit his solar system, which has degraded to the point of barely being able to hold a charge. The solar panels are literally older than I am, which is incredible. Between these two projects, which are my third and fourth PV design-build projects, I'm really deepening my understanding of off-grid power generation and electrical systems in general.
I've got a long list of projects for Serenity and the Studio. I'm redoing Serenity's roof at the moment. Soon I'll build windows and shade scoops for the Studio's south windows, which will play an important role in heating the Studio through the cooler months. I'm going to build an outdoor shower. Over half my books are still in boxes, and I'm keen to learn some skills of finer woodworking than I've done so far to build some nice book shelves and cabinets. Longer term I want to build buried greenhouse structures that will play a central role in closing the loops on liquid water waste streams for the household. I'm very curious how much rainwater can be harvested.
So. I'm certainly not at any kind of a loss at what to do with myself now that I'm back.
Social
I'm in the slow process of reintegrating with my friends, family, and neighbors. I went to two highway cleanups and met the new neighbors and reconnected with the old neighbors, some of whom I did work for as a 15 year old bucking hay and mucking stables.
I am seriously enjoying time with my parents. It's one thing to visit family, which can be intense, and it's another thing entirely to live with them. It'd be difficult if we shared the same roof, but since I've got my own compound we can manage our level of interaction so we don't get burnt out on each other.
It's interesting being a 36 year old who has technically moved back in with his parents. It's not a narrative our culture is very kind to. But our culture doesn't really know what to do with the fact that I grew up helping develop this place. I hacked the main house foundation trench out of the decomposed granite with a prybar when I was 13 years old. There are whole walls I can point at and say "I remember framing that when I was 15". My brother and I dug the 1/4 mile long phone line trench together, 50 feet at a time. I built the chicken coop over at Gary's place, and the pond over at Earl and Edna's place? All those rocks around it? I put them there when I was 16. It took me all summer. Our culture doesn't know quite what to do with the fact that I want to grow old in this place and, with any luck, die here.
Emotional
I feel calmer than I maybe ever have. Where I am feels right. I'm not experiencing any kind of restlessness, which is a sensation that I mostly observe by noting its shocking and novel absence. My project 'list' is more like a sprawling network of interconnected nodes, but I have no real sense of urgency. I work on my projects as the energy and interest to do so arises, and things move along. I'm working on constructing an intuitive, delight-led workflow that harnesses the power of intrinsic motivation. I know how that sounds. I'll write more on it later.
Ecological
Listening to the birds here is a very different experience than listening to the birds in Scotland. It's much quieter here. There are far fewer apparent species. Not much moves about during the day.
I'm really enjoying paying attention to tracks. The sand here makes it easy. A few weeks ago I went for a walk and a coyote popped onto the jeep road ahead of me. He (?) trotted a little ways, paused to give me a look, and sauntered on. I tracked him a little ways but found it difficult (reading tracks here can be like reading a book that's had four or ten different books all printed on top of each other). I wandered off the road, picked up a deer's track, and followed it a half mile over the hill.
The solar designs I'm doing have me more aware of what the sun is doing (or, rather, what the earth is doing in relation to where the sun is). Doing yoga on the rear deck at night has me more aware of what the moon is doing (although I do miss watching the tides at Rubha Phoil). Wanting to start collecting rainwater and close the water loops here has me paying attention to what isn't falling out of the sky, how dry the air is, and the wind. Showering outside every day also has me aware of the impact of aridity and windspeed on evaporation and heat loss.
Intellectual
Books I'm Reading/Read this Past Month:
Surviving the Future, David Fleming and Shaun Chamberlain
Dune Messiah, Frank Herbert
Infinite Jest, DFW (I might have to stop reading this at night. I think it's influencing my dreams in an unfun way.)
The Heart of Yoga
A smattering of asset management books
Blogs and Podcasts:
Hanzi on Solarpunk. Also this one. (h/t Kevin, many thanks)
Nate Hagens' The Great Simplification podcast. In particular his episode with Douglass Rushkoff. 'The Sixth Pool?...' was gut wrenching. Listening to his Frankly #4 is a great intro to his stuff. If you want to know what I think about The Predicament, just listen to Hagens. He hasn't yet said anything that I disagree with regarding the Big Picture stuff.
Economic
Technically some of my travel expenses occurred in August but I accounted them in September because it's neater. September also shows a bulk food order, the first step to get my pantry three months deep. I'm still in the sub10k zone, but making TTTM5K by next April is probably not going to happen. It'll more likely be May or June.
It feels like spending very little money doesn't take hardly any effort of will or creativity any more. When I began this journey of frugality in January 2020, I was spending money at a rate of between $60k and $70k/year. That number seems absolutely bonkers to me now. I barely even understand it. I feel like surely it must be wrong and I should go check again, but I know its right. I have some boring excuses, but the fact is that in 2019 that's how much I spent.
It took a consistent and significant effort over many months to get my expenses down to the level they're now approaching. It was more than just cutting out obvious dumb expenses like going out to restaurants and bars too much. I had to develop new skills, new ways of thinking, and new questions to ask myself. My lifestyle looks quite different now, but also my mind works differently. There are thoughts I was capable of then that I'm not now; there are ways I think now that my self three years ago wouldn't understand.
I suspect that the most common misunderstanding of deep frugality is that its a sacrifice, and that it is a way of life that requires consistent efforts of will to resist temptations to spend. In my experience, this is not accurate.
It is hard work to change your mind, but once it's changed, it's changed. It's like being a tug and pushing the prow of a boat that is just going forwards. It's hard work to get the big oaf to point in a different direction, but once re-pointed, it just goes. That's how I feel now with respect to willpower. It doesn't take any effort of will to not go out to a restaurant just because I don't feel like cooking. It doesn't even occur to me. The idea of going to a bar and spending $8 for a beer or $13 for a real drink is actually... almost revolting. The enjoyment of the drink and the atmosphere would be totally ruined by the near-physiological sensation of aversion to that kind of waste.
At any rate, it feels like I'm very near the end of the phase where decreasing my spending requires much effort. I've got years of work to tune and tweak, to mature my frugality practice and to deepen my skills, but the Big Push feels like its over. I'm at the point of diminishing returns, where every unit of effort invested to decrease expenses will only get me a few extra dollars a month of money not spent, whereas a year ago that same unit of effort got me $50 or $100 a month not spent.
Learning to spend very little money while still enjoying an interesting, rich life is an important first step, but it's not the end of the journey. I've learned how to spend little money, not NO money. My lifestyle still relies on a certain flow of income. For the past year I've lived off savings, but at least at the moment my savings are not a renewable resource. I'm drawing down from a finite source, and must learn to interact with my environment in such a way that I can continue my way of life indefinitely (see what I did there?).
My next phase is to master income generation and asset management on my own terms.
With any luck, this blog and my podcast will serve as the equivalent of a forehead tattoo in terms of being a career-killer. I'm not going back to any kind of traditional j*b, and will probably never again earn a salary. I've got to generate income some other way.
Happily, I already picked up two pieces of paid work that I'm having an absolute blast with (the PV projects I mentioned). And I have a handful of other ideas for income generation that fit well with my desired lifestyle. The stress really comes off of income generation when you spend so little that you just don't need to worry about making a lot of money to pay the bills.
The other angle, asset management, is a whole thing. I'm still in the early stages of getting my head wrapped around it. It might be a while before I emerge from the fog of ignorance and am comfortable writing about it. But I will, eventually.
Physiological
Last weekend I walked to town to visit my friends, which was 24 miles. The first half was fine. The second half hurt my feet quite a lot, and I hobbled the last several miles. My blisters are still healing, but I really enjoyed the walk, and plan to do a lot more of it.
I've been doing yoga on my deck every night, sometimes at night under the moon, and bodyweight training every week day. Having control over my diet again for the first time in six months is already showing a difference in my body composition; I've increased my ratio of fats and decreased carbohydrates, while probably holding protein about steady. Also the only bread I eat now is simple flatbread from freshly milled whole grains, and pasta is completely out.